Archive for the ‘Self Improvement’ Category
A Lesson on Panic Attacks At Night
If you or someone you know has problems with anxious thoughts, they might be interested in this article I found by Barry Joe McDonagh:
Getting to Sleep and Panic Attacks at Night
As most doctors will tell you, there are two things that disturb sleep: physical pain and worry.
It’s therefore understandable that many people with anxiety report frequent sleep disturbance as a major problem.
Not being able to sleep can actually be quite traumatic for many people.
The first thing you need to understand about sleep is this: it’s not the amount of sleep you get that’s important, but rather the quality of the sleep.
Quality over quantity.
I am going to give you some quick tips to help tackle any problems you are having with sleep. Firstly, to break the insomnia cycle, begin by not presuming you will sleep! That seems like the wrong attitude, but if you approach each night as just a possible opportunity to sleep, this helps remove the pressure you are placing yourself under.
In a way, some people have performance anxiety when they think about sleeping:
“Will I be able to make myself sleep tonight?”
The answer is maybe yes, maybe no. If you’re going through a period of sleeplessness, a good night’s sleep isn’t guaranteed, for whatever reason, so you have to accept that for the moment. If you get one or two hours’ sleep, that’s well and good, and if you get nothing, then accept it and move on. Each night, as you retire, say to yourself:
“I’m preparing for bed, but I won’t try to force sleep. If it comes, it comes. If not, I won’t beat myself up over it. This is a period I’m going through, but I’ll soon return to normal sleep patterns.”
Every person goes through periods of sleeplessness from time to time. It’s very natural. You may not be aware of why you experience sleeplessness, but at the very least, you can accept it.
Let me emphasize the importance of surrendering to your inability to sleep. Surrender to whatever may or may not happen during the course of a night, and you’ll put your mind under less pressure. After a certain point, it’s really the anger and frustration that keep you awake most of the night.
Naturally the best way to get a good night’s sleep is a good physical workout each evening in the outdoors. This is very effective because the mind may try to keep you awake, but the sheer physical exhaustion brings on sleep quicker. Couple that with a willingness to accept sleeplessness, and you’ll find yourself sleeping much easier.
Remember that alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine should be avoided several hours before sleep. You may be the type who finds it initially hard to get to sleep as your mind races with anxious thoughts. Should you find your mind racing and you simply can’t achieve sleep, keep a journal beside your bed. Sit upright and start to write down how you feel:
“I’m feeling quite restless. I keep turning over and over, trying to sleep, but I have worries on my mind.” Now write down all of your worries, for example:
“Tomorrow I have to do X, and I’m afraid I won’t be well rested, etc.”
Continue to write down your worries until the exercise actually becomes quite boring. Then your body and mind will slowly want to return to sleep. Writing like this is a simple tool for preparing your mind in a linear way to wind down and return to sleep (an advanced form of counting sheep).
Don’t be afraid of writing pages and pages of nothing in particular. What you’re doing is helping the conscious mind release whatever is keeping it awake so it can stop obsessing and return to sleep.
You see, one of the reasons we can’t fall asleep is that our mind feels these worries (whatever they are) are important to analyze over and over; they need urgent attention and therefore should be thought about all night long.
The more worked up you get by the worries, the more your body gets stimulated and the harder sleep is to achieve. Writing down all your worries on paper has the effect of saying to your mind:
“Okay, mind, you think these are important. I’ve written them all down in detail. They won’t be forgotten, I promise. I can come back to them tomorrow and deal with them then-but RIGHT NOW, let’s sleep.”
The mind can be like a small child who just needs reassurance that things will be dealt with and looked after. That’s all it needs to let go of these mental worries. You then discover, in the morning, that almost all of the worries or concerns aren’t big issues. Many of our worries are the workings or an overactive imagination.
Dr. Dennis Gersten of San Diego suggests an approach that is effective for particularly restless nights. You may want to experiment with it the next time you are very restless in bed.
Try the following:
-As you lie there in bed, start by remembering a time in your life when you absolutely had to stay awake! Maybe it was an important exam you were studying for and you had to keep cramming through the night.
Maybe it was staying up all night nursing your baby to sleep. Maybe it was when you were traveling through the night on a bus and needed to stay awake in case you missed your stop.
I am sure there have been many different occasions in your life where you had to force yourself to stay awake.
-Remember the weariness and the effort just to keep your eyes open. Remember how your eyelids felt like lead weights and you wished you could close them, even just for a minute. At that time, you could not give in to your urge to fall asleep; you had to fight hard to stay awake. Relive those memories and really try and remember exactly what that felt like.
-Now think about right now, and how good it feels to actually be in bed with no pressing need to stay awake. Think how much you would have given to be where you are now, lying in your bed with your head resting on the pillow and the complete freedom you have to fall asleep. It feels really good to actually have full permission to fall asleep right now.
There are no demands on you to stay awake. With your eyes closed spend a few more minutes remembering that time.
-End of exercise.
Night Panic Attacks
People with anxiety disorders can sometimes be awakened at night by panic attacks. We know that most nighttime panic attacks aren’t caused by dreams. Records of sleep polysomnographia show that most panic attacks take place during the early sleep phase (phase II), not during the REM phase associated with dreams. This is different from nightmares. Nightmares happen during the second half of the night, so we’re often able to remember the content of these dreams.
It’s important not to go to bed fearing you might have a panic attack. Go to bed confident that if one should arise, you’ll successfully deal with it. That way, you don’t put yourself under pressure to NOT have a panic attack. Many panic attacks are experienced at the very moment of falling asleep.
If you wake with a panic attack, implement the One Move Technique as outlined in my course Panic Away. (See end of article)
Here’s a description a woman recently gave of her experience:
“Getting to sleep is a real problem. Just as I’m about to drop off to sleep, my body seems to jolt awake, like an electric shock, which then frightens me and keeps me awake for hours.”
This jolt is called a hypnic jerk, or hypnagogic massive jerk. A hypnic jerk usually occurs just as the person enters sleep. People often describe it as a falling sensation or an electric shock, and it’s a completely normal experience. It’s most common when we’re sleeping uncomfortably or overtired.
There’s been little research on the subject, but there are some theories as to why hypnic jerks occur. When we drift off into sleep, the body undergoes changes in temperature, breathing, and muscle relaxation. The hypnic jerk may be a result of the muscles relaxing. The brain misinterprets this as a sign of falling, and it signals our limbs to wake up, hence the jerking legs or arms.
People turn hypnic jerks into panic attacks because they already feel nervous about their condition and the jolt scares them into thinking something bad is happening. Again, it’s a fearful reaction to a sensation.
Usually when these people wake up, they gasp for air, and this can also turn into a fear of a breathing problem while sleeping. If you jolt awake with panic, then simply understanding the nature of a hypnic jerk can strip away the anxiety from the experience.
Reassure yourself that you’re safe and that the jerk isn’t something to worry about. It doesn’t disrupt your bodily functions, and it doesn’t put you in any danger.
I want to leave you with a few last comments. All too often people with anxiety are pressurized to end their anxiety. People pass remarks like:
“I wish you could just snap out of your anxiety”.
Although people mean well, these type of comments are not helpful. People don’t just think one thought and snap out of anxiety. There is a step by step process of removing the illusion that anxiety creates and for some this can take time where the anxiety has been present for many years.
I really want to impress upon you that anxiety is curable. What you must never stop doing is searching for the right approach for you. After many years working in this area I am now more convinced than ever that every single person, regardless of how severe, can end their anxiety problem. If you have a thought that is telling you different then you need to lose that thought.
Never stop trying, never give up. That is the best you can do.
Best Wishes
Barry Joe McDonagh
If you want to learn more about my work then visit the following link:
All material provided in this article are for informational or educational purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or medical condition.
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Will Smith and His Wisdom in Life
I recently watched this video with Will Smith about his wisdom in life and I absolutely had to share it with you. I’ve always admired Will Smith. The video is just under 10 minutes long so take the time to watch it without distraction. If you have a drive to do something in your life, here is some motivation to keep you moving forward…
Feel free to leave a reply to let me know what you think 
Veronica Bettencourt
Why Do Some Women Always Date Losers?
Do you know of someone who has a pattern of always dating losers, bad boys, who always break their heart and leave them crying? For those women, oftentimes they need help in identifying the signs of such unreliable men.
Let’s define a loser as a man who is totally into himself and has little empathy for a woman’s needs. He is a man who has a pattern of sweet talking women in an attempt to sweep them off their feet and into the nearest bed. He will wine you and dine you and tell you how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have met you. These men are very good at what they do because they’ve had a lot of practice!
These men are wonderful in the beginning of a relationship; however, in time they most always become less attached and more distant to their partner. Some never call back, others break dates and some even “forget” their wallet and their date ends up paying for the meal.
Have you ever met or dated a man such as this? Perhaps he never said he loved you, and whenever you spoke about commitment, he would change the subject.
The truth is that no woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I need to find a man who will hurt me.” Rather what most often happens is that many women (and men) tend to confuse intensity with reliability. They meet someone who makes them FEEL wonderful or excited and they assume that he is a good man. The problem isn’t that their feelings are wrong. What gets them into trouble is that their intense feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they would clearly see if they were not so emotionally involved.
What if there was a way to effortlessly attract men that were both exciting as well as dependable? Not simply a technique, but a manual that showed how successful women captivate men in such a way that they never get mistreated.
What if information was available to transform you into the woman that men adore? Thankfully such information is available and it’s just one click away. “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave,” shows every woman the secrets to attract and keep the man of her dreams. Click Here to see for yourself! And yes, I got this myself and couldn’t stop reading it until I was done; very worthwhile.
Valentine’s Day Ideas For You Or The Whole Family
Valentine’s Day is a special time of year to share with those we love. It’s not just for boyfriends and girlfriends or husbands and wives.
I’m making this a quick post just so I can share with you that I have just put together something special for you for Valentine’s Day. It’s a short 6 page report with some fun ideas for the whole family and little romance ideas after the kids go to bed too.
It’s absolutely free as a thank you for being my subscriber.
Go ahead and download it here:
http://www.veronicabettencourt.com/valentines-report.pdf
Enjoy!!
Veronica Bettencourt
P.S You need Adobe Reader to view this file. You can download Adobe Reader here at
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Tips for Choosing a New Year’s Resolution
If you are like many other Americans, you may opt for a New Year’s resolution. It’s never to late to start one..whether it is January, February, March, or any month of the year for that matter. But, what should your new year’s resolution be? How can you choose the perfect New Year’s resolution?
Here are some tips for choosing a New Year’s resolution:
Look at the main aspects of your life. These aspects are health, family, and finances. Closely examine each and you may automatically get your New Year’s resolution. Have you been letting your health slip? If so, make a quest to eat healthy and visit the doctor more. Have you been focusing too much on work? If so, make your New Year’s resolution spending more time with family. Are you in debt? Make this your year to get out from under it.
Consider your stress sources. We all have stress. Unfortunately, many individuals mistakenly believe that stress in unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to be. Look at what causes you stress. It is an unclean house, long hours at work, or limited financial resources? In most cases, New Year’s resolutions are designed to change and improve one’s life. Now is your chance to do so. Examine your sources of stress and see what ones you can change. For example, you can lose weight, improve your productivity at work so you don’t have to work late, and spend more time with your family.
Pick one New Year’s resolution at a time. As previously stated, you should look at the main aspects of your life and stress sources to decide on a New Years resolution. Since stress is common and a lot causes it, you may automatically come up with three different New Years resolutions. This is nice, but pick one and stick with it. It is easy to get out of debt or lose weight, but you may find it too difficult to do both at the same time. To increase your chances of making your New Year’s resolution true, don’t put too much on your plate.
Write down your options. As mentioned above, it is common for many Americans to have many aspects of their lives they want to change. Most want to have better relationships with their families, lose weight, quit a bad habit,get out of debt, or earn more money. Since you are encouraged to start with one goal at a time, write down all of your options. Closely examine them and see what is most important to you. That should be your New Year’s resolution. Also, don’t throw your list of goals away. Keep it. If you meet your Near Year’s resolution early in the year, work on the rest of your list.
Choose a realistic New Year’s resolution. One mistake that people make is aiming too high. Yes, it is good to do so, but that often results in disappointment. That disappointment causes many to stop trying all together. Do you want to lose weight? Good. Instead of saying you must lose 30 pounds by March, give yourself the entire year. This way you are not in a rush. When you give yourself time to achieve your New Years resolution, you are more likely to see it become a reality. If you set realistic goals, they will be easier to meet. In fact, if you do so early, start working on other aspects of your life to improve. You do not have to wait until New Year’s to make a change.
Many use New Years resolutions to make a big life change. You do not have to do so too. Are you in good shape, have a good relationship with your family, and are not in debt? If so, you may not have a huge goal to set. That doesn’t mean that you can’t make a New Year’s resolution. Instead, think of something small, but meaningful. For example, redecorating your home, buying Christmas gifts ahead of schedule, or helping others in need are unique, but good resolutions.
Mine was to get organized and simplify. I created ‘My Home Management System‘ to help me do just that. Click the following link for details on that: http://www.simpleandstressfree.com/my-home-management-system.html
Good luck in meeting your goal!
Veronica Bettencourt
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Onions For Collecting The Flu Virus
I was reading an email someone sent me that I thought would be worth sharing since it is both odd and interesting. The following is the exact email message that was sent about how to prevent yourself from getting the flu virus:
ONIONS FOR COLLECTING THE FLU VIRUS
In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people there was this Doctor that visited the
many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many of the farmers and
their family had contracted it and many died…
The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy.
When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different the wife replied that
she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then).
The doctor couldn’t believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions
and placed it under the microscope. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find
the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the virus, therefore, keeping the family
healthy.
Now, I heard this story from a hairdresser in Arizona . She said that several years ago
many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her
customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop.
To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work.. (And no, she is not in
the onion business.)
The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home.
If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office or under your desk or
even on top somewhere. Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and
we never got the flu. If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick,
all the better. If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case..
Whatever, what have you to lose? Just a few bucks on onions!
7 Stress Management Strategies You Can Use Today
They say there’s more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It’s a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.
And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.
I know how it feels.I still get stressed occasionally, but definitely not as much as I used to get stressed;and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can’t blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what’s bugging you anyway?
There are several ways to manage stress. So I’ll give you some helpful tidbits and I promise it’s not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.
1. Acknowledge stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.
2. Avoid stress sneezers
Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!
Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you’ve got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.
3. Learn from the best
When people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.
4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I’ve learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.
5. Give stress thoughts the red light
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?
Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong – how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?
6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!
Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?
Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?
7. Burn the candle at one end
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends!
Having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.
If managing your time may help manage your stress, download a free time-management report that I have made available for you at my site:
http://www.SimpleandStressFree.com
Feel free to comment about how you currently deal with stress.
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Self Improvement and Motivation: The Heart of Self Improvement is Motivation
Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change.
Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.
With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? How do you keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…and feel free to post a comment of your own tips at the end of this post.
Here it goes…
A – Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
B – Believe in your self, and in what you can do.
C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.
D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.
E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.
F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.
G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.
H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.
I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.
J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?
M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.
N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.
O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.
P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.
Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?
R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.
S – Stop procrastinating.
T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.
U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.
V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.
W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.
X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.
Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.
Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!